Oak Hill Baptist Church © 2008-2009

    Our society seems to value mothers more than fathers.

 

    When my wife and I were in college, women’s sports were almost non-existent. Coached sports for women were few in contrast to the many men’s teams. The men had a new field house, but the women played in the old, cracker-box gym. Things have changed since the late 60s, of course, with a variety of legislation and the change of public opinion. Colleges now must have an equal number of sports and sport facilities for men and women. Our second oldest daughter competed in track in college, running in a 4 x 800 meter relay team.

 

    These and other changes that have given women more opportunities are good. We are thankful for medical advances in women’s health. We applaud the greater cultural sensitivity to the unique struggles of single moms. Yet in the middle of all this greater understanding, we may have become blind to the other half. Men and boys have not had the same help navigating the particular problems of modern society.

   The issues are complicated.

 

 We have heard about the cost to a family when Dad leaves. James Dobson and others have illustrated the problem very poignantly from prisoner statistics. Men in prison did not have a dad around. When given the chance to send a Mother’s Day card they lined up, but when Father’s Day rolled around hardly a card was sent. But does this give a true picture? Are absent dads the root of the problem? Other experts write about the criminal mind. Mom is actually an easier mark than Dad. Are all those sentimental cards just another attempt to get a few bucks out of a soft touch?

 

    We have heard about the wonderful programs that empower poor women around the world. Compassion, World Vision, and other organizations encourage us rich Westerners to send monthly support for a child in need (a very good use of money, by the way). Women can also get micro-loans to start a small business: raising chickens or sewing or selling vegetables or whatever. Yet these same relief organizations are realizing that they are not changing the situation. Generation after generation present a long line of needy women and children in the same villages. The problem is the absence of men in the solution.

 

    Reams of studies have recorded the problem of dead-beat dads, men who avoid paying child support. We look at them with disgust. Sure, a marriage went sour, but why not pay for your kids clothes and food? Sociologists are discovering that this thinking forgets the power of a father’s heart. Freedom from home responsibilities also includes freedom from the gift to share in a child’s daily life. As men lose their fatherhood, many also lose their reason for working hard and building up the community. They end life on a bar stool or in front of the TV.

    As some segments of society begin to rethink the modern father/mother equation, it might be valuable to ask if the church needs to do the same. Contrary to the normal view, men and women are equally sinful. Some commit crimes our society views as unacceptable (battering a spouse) and sends them to prison. Some commit crimes our society views as acceptable (abortion) and leaves them completely free. Contrary to the normal view, men and women are equally capable of deep spiritual growth.

 

    So why do we have so vastly different images of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Mom wants her family with her in the pew on her special day. Is it really Dad’s desire to sleep in and play golf to celebrate his fatherhood? Are these really the desires of his heart? Or are we “selling him short?” Hasn’t the Father given to fathers an eternal thirst? Isn’t He the only one who can satisfy those thirsts? As life goes on, year after year, don’t fathers need to grow more deeply? May we so live!